What are the sure signs of Spring? At one time the sighting of the first Robin was proof enough. Now it seems one of the other sure signs is the release of dating and relationship advice books. The ones that caught my eye in particular were; The Man Plan: Drive Men Wild…Not Away by Whitney Casey; and Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey. Now if you are like me just the titles are enough to peak your interest to check out the New York Times Book Review, or the Amazon.com synopsis and review page on them.

What peaked my interest in these titles was not only what they had to say, but how it was said. At this point I have only managed to take a quick look at the first book mentioned above by Whitney Casey. That for me has given much food for thought.

In this case it is not so much “what’s oft been thought, but neer so well expressed” as, what has oft been said and is now repackaged. As it turns out it seems the more simplistic and list oriented the advice, the more success the reader should have. In the case of The Man Plan…, as one reviewer points out the suggestions are “many and complicated”, and goes on to point out some of the “more peculiar prescriptions”.

The point here is not go get into what is said as much as what is not. From my perspective it is simplistic to assume that following a formulaic set of guidelines will work in guiding one to establishing a connection with someone, and what is more, help it develop on a solid foundation. Some of the suggestions are quite interesting, and somewhat clever, I must admit. However, if one is to seriously take the effort to make a relationship work it involves much more. From my perspective it has as much to do with the careful insight one has to apply to oneself, the emotional intelligence that must be mustered, as well as the time an effort in working at establishing and making the relationship work.

The case for “commandments” is common, but it does not take the one looking for help far enough into themselves and into the aspects of a meaningful relationship to make the goals attainable or sustainable.